In my twenties I worked in hotels. Front Desk, Convention Services, Wedding Planning, Sales, and eventually, as the youngest Director of Sales and Marketing hired in my region. But before I get ahead of myself…
I was at the daily staff meeting. Each morning our whole department would gather in a circle and share what we were working on. On this day, I was leaning against a doorway. Not long into the meeting, my vision started flickering from the edges in, and that’s all I remember. I'm told I walked through the circle while someone was talking, tripped into a forward fall, where my nose bounced off a table and came back down chin first on a paper cutter. If there is a clumsy way to do something, even fainting evidently, you can bet I’ll find a way to make it even clumsier.
While I was out, someone grabbed my phone to call my boyfriend, Dave. Instead of reaching my boyfriend, however they spoke briefly with the four or five other Dave’s in my contacts.
I woke up on the floor. My always-in-control manager was freaking out, another coworker ran for ice, everyone’s eyes were on me. After a sip of water, I was asked what number they should call since they couldn't find Dave in my phone. I giggled despite the blood and throbbing pain.
I did mention this all took place in my twenties. A time filled with invincibility and unfortunately in this moment, pranks. One of our favorite pranks was to change each other’s name on our phones so the next time we called, a hilarious name popped up. It was all fun and games until I had to tell a room full of colleagues my boyfriend was in my phone as Hairy McButterton. My manager was kind of shocked before walking off to tell Hairy McButterton his girlfriend fainted, and paramedics were on the way.
By this time the paramedics did arrive, and so did my panic. I have always had a completely irrational terror of needles and IVs. I knew protocol would entail an IV. I was already embarrassed in front of my co-workers and now confronting my personal fear in front of everyone seemed too much. They asked me if I had any allergies. I blurted out "Just needles" watching the paramedic prepping it. I hadn't meant to be funny. I couldn’t relay what I meant, but everyone chuckled, and I kept the crying at a minimum while they put in the IV right there in the office.
My boyfriend met me at the ER, where they did tests that came back unremarkable. No found cause of fainting, but they determined I needed a few stitches under my chin. My Dr. did not agree that I would be fine with a band aid and came at my soft under-chin with a syringe. I screamed. A lot. And flinched. Hairy McButterton said I cleared the ER out, kids were getting scared, everyone trying to see what was happening in my curtained torture chamber. After several pokes with numbing and stitching me up, they bandaged my nose and chin, had me wait the customary number of hours for no reason, and sent me on my way.
Present day, a small scar under my chin is a barely visible reminder I need to keep a pin lock on my phone. #hadoncleanunderwear
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